Am I a Narcissist? How to Recognize Traits and Start Healing
If you have found yourself wondering, “Am I a narcissist?” you are not alone. Many people ask this question, especially if they have grown up around narcissistic parents or have been in narcissistic relationships.
First, let’s clear something up: being curious and asking this question already shows self-awareness which is something true narcissists rarely have.
What Does “Being a Narcissist” Mean?
A narcissist is someone who exhibits narcissistic personality traits, which often include a lack of empathy, a strong need for admiration, and manipulative behaviors. However, narcissism is not just one fixed type of behavior, it exists on a broad spectrum.
At one end, you have overt narcissism, which is more obvious and visible. Overt narcissists are typically grandiose and openly seek attention or praise. They might dominate conversations, exaggerate their achievements, or show entitlement without much subtlety. My father embodied these overt trait and his behavior was often intimidating and scary, which left me feeling unsafe most of the time.
At the other end is covert narcissism, which can be much harder to recognize. Covert narcissists may appear vulnerable or even self-effacing, but underneath, they still have a deep need for validation and can manipulate others emotionally. They might express their narcissism through passive-aggressive behaviors, playing the victim, or subtle control tactics like the silent treatment, which my mother frequently used. This made her behavior confusing, isolating, and painful to navigate.
Between these extremes, people can show varying degrees of narcissistic traits, sometimes without fully embodying the whole pattern. This is especially true if you have been deeply influenced by narcissistic people in your family or relationships. You might find yourself adopting certain narcissistic behaviors as unconscious coping mechanisms or energy imprints, without realizing it.
Understanding that narcissism exists on a spectrum helps create compassion and clarity. It means you are not necessarily “all or nothing” but may have some tendencies to work with and heal.
The Flea Phenomenon: Picking Up Narcissistic Energy
People sometimes say they “picked up fleas”, meaning they have absorbed some narcissistic behaviors from those around them. This happens because energy is contagious, and being immersed in narcissistic dynamics can blend into your own energy.
It is important to recognize that narcissistic behavior comes from deep wounds. Some people live from those wounds, acting out control or selfishness, while others are on the path to healing.
Growing Up With Narcissistic Parents: What You Might Notice
If you grew up with narcissistic parents, you might find yourself sounding or acting like them at times. This is common because narcissism is often a generational pattern.
You might notice:
Struggling to set boundaries
Feeling overly responsible for others’ feelings
Reacting defensively or with control
Seeking validation or approval excessively
An dysregulated nervous system within yourself
The Key Difference: Self-Reflection and Growth
The most important sign you are not a narcissist? You can reflect on your behavior honestly and feel discomfort or guilt about hurting others.
True narcissists rarely do this because their wounds are unhealed and their defense mechanisms block self-awareness. The become trapped in victimhood and cannot see how their wounds turned into something that not only hurts themselves but others as well.
How to Heal Narcissistic Traits Within Yourself
Notice your triggers and energy shifts
Practice compassionate self-reflection, not judgment
Set healthy boundaries and honor your needs
Seek support from healing modalities like energy work, therapy, or community
Asking “Am I a Narcissist?” Is a Sign of Healing
If you are asking this question, you are already on the path toward healing old wounds and reclaiming your energy.
You are not defined by your past or your family patterns, you have the power to choose a different way.
Understanding how energy centers hold these patterns can be transformational, check out my post on what the chakras reveal about emotional safety and boundaries.
If you are tired of feeling stuck in patterns that no longer serve you and you feel ready to gently uncover and release the narcissistic energy imprints holding you back, I’m here to support you.
Through energy healing sessions, we will work together to help you:
Reclaim your personal power
Set healthy energetic boundaries
Heal generational wounds
Restore your confidence and peace
You do not have to do this alone. Let’s create space for your true self to shine and flourish.
Book your personalized healing session today or reach out to learn more. Your journey toward freedom and self-love starts now.