Do We Choose Our Parents? AN OLD Soul’s Perspective on Trauma and Healing
I Asked Myself: “Why Would I Do This to Myself?”
I remember the exact moment I asked the question that would eventually change everything:
“Why would I do this to myself?”
It wasn’t during a spiritual workshop or while reading about reincarnation, it was in the middle of my own healing unraveling. I had spent years untangling the effects of narcissistic abuse, childhood trauma, and the emotional chaos of a family system that felt more like a battlefield than a sanctuary.
The idea that I might have chosen my parents, this life, this path, felt nearly impossible to accept. Why would anyone choose betrayal, abandonment, or pain?
But as I moved deeper into my personal healing, and guided clients through theirs, a different truth continually reveals itself. One that isn't rooted in blame, but in vibrational alignment and soul evolution.
We Don’t Choose Parents Like Names From a List
Incarnation is not like selecting names off a cosmic checklist. The soul doesn't choose logically or emotionally. It aligns through resonance.
Your soul is drawn into this world by matching frequencies and energetic signatures that reflect karmic lessons and/or ancestral patterns you’re here to heal or evolve.
This resonance often leads us to families with unhealed wounds and places that challenge us to awaken, remember, and reclaim our truth.
Old Souls and the “Why Would I Choose That?” Dilemma
Old souls carry a deep wisdom, but also a deep sensitivity. They often incarnate into complicated family systems not as punishment, but with purpose.
If you have experienced emotional neglect, narcissistic dynamics, or abandonment, you may have asked:
Why would I choose a parent who didn’t protect me?
Why would I enter a family that couldn’t love me the way I needed?
The answer I’ve come to understand is this:
Your soul didn’t choose pain. It chose potential with the possibility of breaking cycles and alchemizing wounds. This is about remembering who you truly are.
Narcissistic Abuse, Soul Contracts & Ancestral Energy
Narcissistic family systems often repeat generational patterns. These environments suppress authenticity and for an old soul, that suppression can be the catalyst for spiritual awakening.
Your soul may have come here to:
Heal ancestral trauma
Reclaim your intuition and boundaries
Learn the difference between control and true love
Remember your worth in a place that tried to erase it
This doesn't make your pain "necessary" or "justified." It gives it a soul-level context.
Soul Contracts Can Be Rewritten
A soul contract is not a life sentence. It is a starting point and a spiritual agreement made with full awareness of your power and growth potential.
And like any agreement, you have the right to revoke, rewrite, or evolve it.
You are not bound to stay in a role or relationship that continues to harm your spirit. You have free will, energetic sovereignty, and the right to choose again.
Healing as a Return to Your TRUE Essence
In my work as an energy healer and psychic medium, I hold space for those who are navigating the long journey home to themselves, especially old souls healing from childhood trauma and the invisible wounds of narcissistic family dynamics.
The work is not just about releasing pain. It is about remembering who you were before the world asked you to shrink. Before you learned to survive by disconnecting from your truth.
Together, we move through gentle but powerful layers of restoration.
This kind of healing is not linear.
It is not about becoming someone new.
It is about returning to the deepest truth of who you already are.
Reflection for Your Soul
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:
What part of me resonated with the family I was born into? What am I here to transform through this experience?
Allow the answers to come slowly. With compassion. No judgment. Just awareness.
You Are Not Broken. You Are Becoming.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why would I choose this?”, please know, you are not alone.
Many of us have walked through soul fires we didn’t think we could survive. But the fact that you are here, seeking truth, healing, and meaning, says everything about your strength.
You are not broken.
You are not to blame.
You are becoming something powerfully sovereign and fully your own.
And if you ever feel called to explore this work more deeply, I’d be honored to walk beside you.